How to spot a narcissist: 8 telltale signs

This post features advice on how to spot a narcissist.

Narcissists are the number one threat to modern human civilization and you cannot convince me otherwise. 

Okay, maybe I’m being a little dramatic since we’re literally in an environmental crisis and yk… politics…

But still, Narcissists have to be up there when it comes to existential threats.

I can tell you from experience that dealing with a narcissist can mess you up for the rest of your life. And the unfortunate thing is that you won’t even notice until it’s too late.

Narcissists at their core are unempathetic, skilled manipulators who will absolutely try to make you feel crazy if you dare to not act solely in their best interest.

But the thing that gets most people is that they’re very good at hiding it.

Narcissists are excellent at masking their intentions and self serving behaviors, so many of us often struggle with knowing how to spot a narcissist in the first place.

But that’s where I can help you.

While I won’t claim that I have the most accurate bullshit detector on planet earth, I do think I’ve gotten pretty good at sussing out narcissists and the like.

And you can never go wrong with a little bit of caution.

So in the spirit of preserving your well being…

Here are 5 tips on how to spot a narcissist.

1. They have an Inflated Sense of self importance 

This is the universal calling card for narcissists.

Like, you have to understand these people genuinely cannot fathom that something isn’t about them.

Literally.

So the second your actions or behaviors deviate in the slightest from what they want or what they think is best, all freaking hell breaks loose.

This is where you get all those tik tok horror stories about miami trips from hell or mother-in-laws who wear white to their son’s wedding. (If you are someone like this, respectfully go somewhere. Far away.)

But yeah, narcissists generally have an Inflated sense of importance. So your friend who expects you to just bend over backwards for her with no reciprocation is a walking red flag for sure.

2. They Lack Empathy

Narcissists tend to struggle with understanding or caring about other people’s emotions. 

And I mean like severe cases of ‘if it not me idgaf’ syndrome.

If its a case where you share something personal or emotional with a friend or anyone in your life and their reaction is ‘boo hoo, but look what happened to me’ get them the hell away from you.

A narcissist’s ability to empathize with others is generally nonexistent, and they’ll always make you feel like your feelings aren’t important. 

That’s not something you need in your life long term.

3. They’re Manipulative

Remember that time someone did something to you and when you called them out you ended up being the one to apologize?

Yeah, you fell for the okie doke babes…

A narcissist will play your emotions like a fiddle.

Guilt. Charm. Flattery. Deceit. Nothing is off limits, as long as they’re getting what they want.

If someone seems to have a knack for making you feel like you “owe” them something or making you doubt yourself, they might be trying to manipulate your emotions or decisions.

4. They Crave Admiration

A narcissist is as a narcissist does.

Their need for validation and admiration is constant and overwhelming.  

Whether it’s through social media likes, compliments from others, or public praise, they need external validation to feel good about themselves. 

Now before you come for my neck about everyone having insecurities and a need for validation– yes, we do.

But that’s not what this is.

I’m talking about the kind of craving where someone is willing to embarrass you or put you down in front of others to make themselves look good.

If you notice someone constantly fishing for compliments or becoming upset when they’re not the center of attention, nine times outta ten that’s narcissism.

5. They Love to Talk About Themselves

Ohhhhh my God.

I cannot tell you, how much of this shit I’ve had to suffer through.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m generally the quiet one in every social setting so I have no issue with people taking the lead in conversations.

But come on, I don’t need to be hearing ‘me, me, me’ on a loop for an hour. 

But with a narcissist, it just comes with the territory unfortunately.

The have to be the center of attention. Everything had to be about them. You should always be listening to them.Everything is them, them and them.

I don’t know if you really wanna have that to deal with. 

Final Thoughts

Spotting a narcissist might not be easy, but by recognizing these key behaviors, you can start to see the red flags. 

While it’s important to remember that not everyone who displays these traits is a full-blown narcissist, repeated patterns of these behaviors are worth paying attention to.

And yeah, good luck in these streets girl.

Before you go though, what are some tips you have on how to spot a narcissist?

Let me know in the comments.