Dealing with a Painful Friendship Breakup: A guide

Life can really suck sometimes.

Whether you’re going through it at work or having trouble in your intimate relationships, there’s always some hardship to navigate through. And more often than not, our friends are what help us through these situations.

But what happens when that friendship becomes the hardship? How can you move on after a friendship breakup?

First, it’s important to acknowledge that friendship breakups happen for several reasons. Maybe your growth as people has affected the way you communicate and relate to each other (check out our article on outgrowing friendships) or perhaps you simply drifted apart. Either way, losing a friend is never easy, and we have to learn how to handle these situations.

So how do you cope with the end of a friendship?

Here are 6 tips for moving on after a friendship breakup

Feel all the feels

Allow yourself space to be in your feelings. You just lost an emotional connection that you devoted time and energy towards building, you’re allowed to grieve! The sadness will come. So will the anger and so will the confusion. You need to give yourself space to accept these emotions without internal judgment. 

Not to sound like a broken record here, but journaling is easily one of the most effective methods for processing thoughts and emotions, so if you haven’t tried it yet, I highly recommend that you do…

Reflect on what happened

Take time to reflect on the friendship. What were the good parts? What went wrong? Sometimes friendships end because of toxic patterns and dynamics. Understanding what led to the breakup can help you learn more about yourself and your habits. This will help you learn more about your own needs and will help you in setting boundaries for future relationships.

Don’t play the blame game

I’m sure if you look back you’ll find countless mistakes made on both ends- mistakes that’ll make it easy to blame yourself or your former friend. The thing is, that doesn’t work. The only thing assigning blame does is foster resentment and make the healing process more difficult. 

People change, and sometimes that means friendships end. It’s better to accept that and focus on what you can learn from the experience.

Get back to being that girl

Whether or not that friend was a part of your day-to-day, ending that relationship will probably disrupt some part of your routine. Maybe you have mutual friends to hang out with or have stuff you used to do together. Either way, it’s good to find new activities and hobbies to fill the space they’ve left in your life. Doing things that make you happy will help you feel like yourself again as you move forward.

Open Up to New Friendships

The end of an era is the beginning of another as they say. Be open to meeting new people and forming new connections. As an introvert, I know how difficult it can be to put yourself out there and actually talk to people. The thing is, inviting new people into your life might just be what you need to get going again. It could be as simple as approaching the girl with the cool hair at the coffee shop or signing up for a book club.  Who knows? You might finally find your platonic soulmate…